All text from CMOTHR.

Here you find all the text written by cmothr in order of when they where released.

  • Evil behavior = human behavior*

    Fellow CMOTHR.

    This is a topic that is difficult and honestly demands a lot of energy to digest. We are, all of us, card-carrying members of the human race. CMOTHR. That’s the only membership that matters here. We deserve compassion for the difficult attempt to live meaningfully enough in this strange time we are living in. But we can’t talk honestly about humans without talking about our capacity for cruelty. This topic matters because it’s a part of us. So buckle up with your favorite food and beverage — this is going to be a hard one.

    Right now, one of the most disturbing stories circulating is the so-called “sniper safari” — wealthy foreigners allegedly paying to shoot at civilians from sniper positions during the siege of Sarajevo. Maybe it’s true. Maybe it isn’t. But here’s what matters: we don’t immediately dismiss it as impossible. That hesitation, that dark recognition, is the starting point of this text. Because somewhere inside us, we know what humans are capable of. And that knowledge implicates us all.


    The same species

    The Holocaust. Rwanda. Cambodia. Bosnia. Darfur. ISIS and the Yazidis.

    These atrocities were not committed by a separate species of monsters. They were committed by humans — people with families, memories, humor, fear, ambition. People built from the same biological architecture as you and me.

    And then there is the quieter violence. The partner who, over years, dismantles another person’s world piece by piece — their money, their friendships, their sense of what is real — until leaving feels impossible. The child who receives an encrypted message on a phone, takes something to stop himself from overthinking, and goes. The executive who buried the research showing his product was killing people, and went home to his family that evening.

    None of them arrived at cruelty by accident. None of them are from another planet.

    This is the thought we must sit with: the capacity for profound cruelty is not an aberration. It exists within the human condition.

    But acknowledging that capacity is not the same as excusing it.


    Understanding is not absolving

    To say that evil behavior is human behavior is not to deny responsibility. Responsibility does not disappear when behavior becomes understandable.

    Some humans do not merely fail — some humans choose, cultivate, and defend cruelty. They design it. They organize it. They justify it. Those choices remain fully theirs.

    Understanding how humans arrive at evil is not about distributing forgiveness. It is about refusing the comforting lie that evil only belongs to others.

    Evil does not appear from nowhere. It is built. In every large-scale atrocity, in every household where fear has become a permanent climate, in every chain that turns a child into a weapon — the same roles appear. Architects who design, legitimize, and organize harm. Agents who willingly carry it out. Bystanders who adapt, comply, or remain silent while it unfolds.

    These roles are not morally equal. But they are all human. And the question worth asking is not just who fills each role — but what conditions make each role more or less likely.


    The second

    It doesn’t arrive with ideology or planning. It arrives in an ordinary moment — a queue, a look that landed wrong, a person who feels cornered. And then, in under thirty seconds, the moment tips.

    Most violence doesn’t announce itself.

    Research consistently shows that around three quarters of homicides are not calculated. They are eruptions — from humiliation, from fear, from a nervous system that has stopped calculating tomorrow and collapsed entirely into right now.

    In that state, a person is not weighing consequences. The part of the mind that considers the future goes quiet. The part that says I will not survive this humiliation gets very loud. Stress hormones rise. Tribal shortcuts take over. The future disappears and there are only the next five seconds.

    This is why longer prison sentences don’t stop most violence. The person in that moment is not reading the law. They are not performing a rational calculation. They are inside a biological state that makes tomorrow feel like a fiction.

    What interrupts violence in that state is not the threat of future punishment. It is friction. Time. A person who steps in. A space that feels different enough to create a pause. A moment of interruption long enough for the future to exist again.

    We know this. And yet we keep building systems that assume the opposite.


    The paradox of safety

    Human cruelty tends to flourish at two opposite ends of the same spectrum.

    At one extreme: impunity. Consider Jeffrey Epstein. Money doesn’t create evil — it removes friction. With enough wealth, you can buy distance from consequences, surround yourself with people who never say no, and gradually stop encountering other humans as people whose refusal means anything. They become background. Resources. Props.

    This doesn’t require a monster. It requires insulation — from consequences, from dissent, from the ordinary friction that reminds us that other people are real. And it requires a circle. A group of people with similar access, similar insulation, and a shared identity built around the tacit understanding that normal rules do not apply here. No one in that circle says this has gone too far — because saying so would cost them their place in it.

    The sniper safari, if it happened, follows the same logic. Wealth sufficient to purchase access. Distance sufficient to make the targets feel unreal. A system willing to provide the experience. And almost certainly, a social world in which it was possible to discuss — or at least not impossible to imagine.

    This is not rare psychology. It is ordinary psychology with the friction removed.

    At the other extreme: fear. When survival is uncertain, identity hardens into a weapon. Humiliation becomes combustible. Scapegoats stop being an option and become a psychological necessity. For someone drowning in fear, destroying an enemy feels like the only way to stay afloat.

    The system connects these poles. The powerful don’t just benefit from the desperation of others — sometimes they manufacture it. Tobacco manufactured doubt. Oil manufactured delay. The attention economy manufactures outrage and loneliness on demand. Some criminal networks deliberately construct conditions where a young person cannot think clearly enough to say no.

    Rationality is expensive. When safety is present — food, warmth, dignity — we can afford nuance, doubt, and empathy. Under threat, the system shifts into economy mode. A society that engineers insecurity does not just cause suffering — it erodes the population’s capacity to resist manipulation.

    This is not stupidity. It is strategy.


    The manufactured second

    There is a layer beneath the spontaneous moment of violence.

    Some humans study what makes that moment available in another person. They learn which combinations — of debt, belonging, humiliation, trauma, and manufactured reward — make someone unable to choose otherwise. And then they construct those combinations deliberately.

    Drugs to dissolve hesitation. Systems designed to make violence feel like completing a task. Recruitment that looks like an invitation to belong. Economic traps that foreclose every other option. People who orchestrate harm from a great distance and never touch a weapon themselves.

    And shame. Always shame. Shame is not a side effect of these systems — it is a load-bearing wall. The architect of cruelty knows that if refusal costs you your identity, your belonging, your sense of being someone at all, then refusal becomes almost impossible. Shame ensures the silence. Shame keeps the system closed.

    The person who cannot think clearly in that second — who has been recruited, indebted, isolated, numbed — bears one kind of responsibility.

    The person who engineered that inability to think bears another. And that responsibility does not diminish because the mechanism is sophisticated, or the distance is great, or the profits flow through legitimate systems.

    The same logic applies to the partner who systematically dismantles another person’s world over years — not in a moment of lost control, but by design, piece by piece, until the other person no longer knows what they are allowed to feel. Shame is the mortar in that construction too. You stayed. You knew. Who would believe you now.

    Architecture is architecture, whether it produces a building or a trap.


    The weight of agency

    Moral agency is real. But it is not evenly distributed.

    The ability to say no depends on more than character. It depends on conditions. Resistance requires psychological stability, social backing, some margin of safety, and a belief that refusal will not cost you everything.

    Where punishment is severe, where collective protection is absent, where fear is constant — silence is often not consent. It is survival. This does not make silence innocent, but it makes it situated.

    Silence stabilizes power. It allows violence to continue. But silence is rarely chosen in a vacuum. When punishment is severe, collective protection is absent, and fear is constant, the cost of resistance exceeds many people’s capacity to bear it. There have always been those who resisted. Their existence proves resistance is possible — not that it is universally available. Moral courage is real, but it grows in soil: community, meaning, protection, shared risk. It does not arise equally everywhere.

    A society that engineers insecurity — through inequality, through isolation, through systems that extract dignity as a business model — does not just cause suffering. It erodes the capacity of ordinary people to do the right thing when it matters.

    Safety is not softness. It is the condition under which humans can afford to be their better selves.


    Those who cannot be reached — and those who try

    Some individuals are harder to reach than others. The door to connection seems locked from the inside. The hand extended meets nothing. Professionals try, exhaust themselves, and eventually step back — not from cruelty, but from depletion.

    But hard to reach is not the same as impossible. It means the work is slower, requires more skill, more patience, more resources. It means families need support — not blame. It means specialists need training, time, and institutional backing.

    What happens instead? A mother calls emergency services about her son. She is relieved when he receives compulsory care. He is released the next day. A week later, he kills someone. A young person shows early signs — disturbing behavior, social alienation, fixation on violence. The system responds with waiting lists, underfunded clinics, and case files closed too soon.

    Society tells parents: your child reflects your parenting. So when something is wrong — deeply, frighteningly wrong — the parent hesitates. They feel shame before they feel entitled to help. And when they finally reach out, the help is not there. This is manufactured isolation. The same shame that keeps victims silent in abusive relationships keeps families from asking for help before it is too late.

    We know what works. Early contact. Long-term relationships with the same professionals. Schools that collaborate instead of exclude. Support for families — tools, not blame. Specialized care before the first crime, not after.

    We call it too expensive. Then we pay the other price.

    And here is what the research keeps showing, quietly and without drama: when a child grows up feeling safe enough — physically safe, emotionally seen, connected to people who will not abandon them — they are far less available for recruitment into cruelty. Not because they are better people. Because they have enough ground under their feet to make a choice.

    Safety is not just a feeling. It is a structural condition. And building it is a moral act.


    Fallible, not equivalent

    We are all capable of failure. We are not all equivalent.

    To acknowledge shared human vulnerability is not to flatten moral difference. It is to explain how entire societies can drift — while still holding architects and enthusiasts fully accountable. Some people build hell deliberately. They are not fumbling. They are convinced. They have run the numbers.

    Blame without understanding leads to denial. Understanding without responsibility leads to passivity. CMOTHR demands both.

    We acknowledge the mechanics. We refuse the absolution. We recognize that our capacity for responsibility is shaped by conditions — and that changing those conditions is itself a moral act.


    Why the asterisk matters

    Evil behavior = human behavior*

    *Under certain conditions — conditions we have the power to change.

    The task is not to hunt monsters. It is to build a world where fewer humans are pushed toward becoming them — and where those who choose cruelty are stopped early, decisively, and without illusion.

    It is to interrupt the second. To reach the child before the network does. To support the family before the shame silences them. To build spaces where the future exists long enough for people to choose it.

    This is not innocence. It is shared fragility — and shared responsibility.

    We end where we began: if you had unlimited money, no consequences, and a world that prioritized your comfort over others’ lives — who would you become?

    The uncertainty is the point.

    But so is this: right now, somewhere, someone is building the conditions that will answer that question for someone else. Without their knowledge. Without their consent.

    And somewhere else, someone is interrupting those conditions. Quietly. Without recognition. Because they decided that the second before the worst happens is worth fighting for.

    That person is also a fellow CMOTHR.

    — A Fellow CMOTHR


  • We are good enough*

    Yes, fellow CMOTHR – you are good enough. And so is the rest of the human race.

    Heroism is having the courage to be Ordinary

    Perfection is beyond us. And honestly? It’s boring. “Ordinary” isn’t a word for failure. It is heroism in its purest form. Good enough parents. Good enough friends. Good enough humans. It takes courage to look at your life with a generous eye and realize: this is it.

    Life is Here (and I’m going to be my own best friend)

    Life isn’t being lived “somewhere else.” It’s being lived right here. In the mess, in the traffic, in the laundry pile. We know it’s hard to make peace with the truth that you are good enough. But the alternative – constantly chasing a better version of yourself – isn’t good for anyone.

    The Paradox of Growth

    Here is the secret: Trying to get better is part of being good enough. But it is infinitely easier to grow if you first accept where you are. We can’t live without mistakes. What makes us human is that we change because of them. But we only grow if we take care of ourselves in the inevitable failures we make.

    You are good enough just by showing up every day. By trying. By being human aka CMOTHR.

  • Nobody Really Knows*

    We don’t know why there is something instead of nothing. We don’t know what consciousness is, or where a thought goes when it fades. We don’t know what happens after death, or why love hurts and heals at the same time.

    And that gap terrifies us. So we fill it. With stories. With certainty. With “the universe wanted it that way.” With crystals, with scriptures, or the faith that science will solve everything eventually.

    We fill it because standing in the unknown feels like falling.

    What We Do Know

    Gravity pulls. The Earth is round. Stars explode and recycle themselves into new worlds. Life evolves. Atoms dance in patterns we can predict.

    That’s not belief — that’s observation. That’s the beauty of being a species that measures.

    The Filters We See Through

    And yet. For everything we know, a thousand things remain unseen. Because we all see the world through filters — our brains, our cultures, our need to make sense of things. Even science looks through human eyes. That’s not weakness. It’s being finite.

    We can’t rule anything out completely — but that doesn’t make every idea equally meaningful. Wishful thinking isn’t wisdom. Without reasonable grounding, imagination collapses into noise.

    So we have to be careful. Not just about what we believe, but about why we believe it.

    Manufactured Fog

    Because sometimes the fog isn’t just in our minds — it’s manufactured.

    When the first studies linked smoking to lung cancer, the tobacco companies already knew. Their own scientists confirmed it. But doubt was cheaper and more profitable than honesty. So they built confusion instead of accountability. They paid experts to say “we need more research.” They turned uncertainty into a product — and sold it to the world.

    Millions died while the truth sat in a drawer. And the playbook survived.

    Oil companies studied the greenhouse effect long before most people had heard the word “climate.” Their internal reports predicted rising CO₂ levels, melting ice, shifting weather. The science was clear — decades ago. But acknowledging it threatened the business model.

    So they borrowed the same trick: fund “debate,” question consensus, confuse the public until profit felt like reason.

    That’s not mystery. That’s manipulation. And it happens whenever truth threatens power. And it’s why “nobody really knows” can never be an excuse for denial.

    What We Already Know

    Some things are known — because generations of scientists measured, tested, repeated, agreed. Climate change isn’t a belief. It’s physics, chemistry, and evidence stacked a mile high.

    So yes, nobody knows everything. But pretending not to know what we already do — that’s not humility. That’s denial. And often, a cynical use of people’s wishful thinking.

    The Harder Truth

    Still, the deeper truth remains: Even the most sincere see through human eyes. We can measure, but we still interpret. We can prove, but we still filter.

    That’s why the real work is not just finding truth — but holding it gently.

    When someone challenges what you believe — about faith, ghosts, or global warming — ask yourself: What am I defending? The truth? Or my place in it?

    Defending the Fortress

    Because if we’re all just defending our fortresses, nobody learns anything. We just shout across the void, each convinced the other side is stupid.

    But what if they’re not? What if they’re just standing in a different part of the mystery, filling the same gap with different stories?

    That doesn’t make all stories equally true. Wishing something were real doesn’t make it real. Rejecting something because it scares you doesn’t make it false.

    The Honest Position

    The honest position is harder: Listen. Not to win. Not to fix. Just to understand why they see what they see.

    Ask yourself: What am I afraid to be wrong about? What would I lose if I changed my mind?

    Then stay curious. Use science when it works. Admit when it doesn’t answer what you actually care about. Wonder without pretending you know. Stay open — but not so open that your brain falls out.

    The Invitation

    Because nobody really knows. Not the believers. Not the skeptics. Not the scientists. Not the mystics.

    We’re all just trying to make sense of a universe that doesn’t owe us clarity.

    And maybe that’s not a flaw. Maybe that’s the invitation — to meet each other in the unknown, to listen instead of defend, to seek truth together, even when it hurts.

    Because if we can’t do that — if we keep mistaking identity for truth — then we’re not searching for answers. We’re just building walls.

  • People usally don’t agree

    People usually don’t agree with you.

    CMOTHR.COM

    They’re not stupid. They don’t need clearer explanations, harder facts, or you screaming at them. They are not bigger idiots than you. They just don’t agree. Simple as that.

    Except it’s not simple at all, is it?

    The Illusion of Conflict

    Here’s the thing: disagreement terrifies us. So we do one of two things. Either we create theatrical friction – shouting, mocking, calling each other idiots. A whole performance to protect our identity. Or we do the opposite – we compromise, nod along, smooth it all out. Keep the peace.

    Both are ways to avoid real friction. The shouting match gives us the illusion we’re fighting for something important when really we’re just defending our fortress. The false harmony gives us the illusion of connection when really we’re just hiding. Either way, we’re exhausted.

    Real Friction Creates Energy

    But here’s what we forgot from basic physics: real friction creates energy. When two surfaces actually touch – really touch – something happens. Heat. Transformation. Energy that wasn’t there before.

    When you stay in real friction, something shifts. You see the other person as real – not right, but real. Their disagreement comes from an actual experience of the world, not from stupidity. You understand why you both stand where you stand. And somehow, in staying with the discomfort, you become less alone. Not because you agree, but because you’ve met each other as complex humans instead of as allies or enemies.

    The whole idea might be wrong — but until we find a better alternative, this is where we plant our hope.

    Values vs. Facts

    That’s for values. For how we think life should be lived. But then there’s what we do know. The earth is round. The climate crisis is real. Vaccines work. These aren’t opinions – they’re facts.

    And here’s where it gets tricky: when someone denies climate science or rejects proven knowledge, real friction isn’t about arguing whether the earth is round. That’s just theater again.

    Real friction asks the actual question: I’m curious, how come you don’t trust the facts? What broke your faith in science, in experts, in institutions? What makes you need to believe something else?

    The Real Disagreement

    That’s the real disagreement. Not to “win” about facts, but to understand why facts stopped being enough.

    Because if we can’t talk about that – about what’s broken in our relationship to knowledge, to each other, to reality itself – then we’re fucked. We can’t address the climate crisis or anything else that requires us to act on what we know.

    Real friction about facts means staying in the hardest conversation: not what is true, but why we can no longer agree on what’s true. It won’t always work. It won’t always change minds. But it’s the only conversation worth having.

    The Limit

    But real friction has limits. When someone denies another person’s right to exist — their safety, their dignity, their place in the human story — that’s not disagreement anymore. That’s dehumanization.

    And the thing about dehumanization is: it ends the conversation before it begins. You can’t meet someone as human if their whole stance is that some humans don’t count.

    So we don’t mirror the hate. We hold the line: every human life has equal worth. No exceptions. Our job is to remember what being human actually means — and to defend it when someone tries to strip it away from others.

    The Point

    People usually don’t agree. Thank fuck for that. But when we can’t even agree on reality anymore? That’s where the real work is. That’s where we actually need each other.

    It’s only in real friction where energy lives. Everything else is just avoiding being human together.

  • Made Of Stardust

    Every time you wear this reminder, you carry the cosmos with you – literally.

    CMOTHR.COM

    You are a walking miracle made from actual star explosions. Not metaphorically. Literally. The calcium in your bones, the iron in your blood, the carbon in your DNA – all forged in the nuclear furnaces of ancient stars. You contain about 7 octillion atoms that are billions of years old.

    This isn’t beautiful poetry. This is verified astrophysics and biology and still it’s almost impossible for our brain to fully make some meaningful concept of it. And yes that is natures poetry. 

    We are literally stellar material that became conscious enough to contemplate its own origins. From everything we know, we’re the only species in the universe capable of this. We are the universe looking at itself.

    So here’s the thing that should catch your attention: if we’re all made from the same cosmic explosions, why do we live as though some humans matter less than others and literally act like there is no tomorrow regarding our only habitat, earth aka pale blue dot?

    Your left hand contains atoms from different stars than your right hand. You share stellar ancestry with every person on this planet. We are literally cosmic siblings, all of us – every human who has ever lived or will live.

    We live on earth that circulates around a star among 400 billion stars in this galaxy alone, each probably with planets. Yet as far as we know, we’re alone. This tiny rock floating in infinite darkness might be the only place where stardust became conscious.

    It’s a funny thing, at its core, it’s not humans arguing with each other. It’s stardust arguing with stardust about who deserves to matter. None of us are perfect, and yet each of us is a miracle simply for being born.

    Let’s be crystal clear – We are capable of choosing to destroying ourselves and our planet. From all we know right now, that could destroy all meaning in this vast cosmos. We might be the universe’s only chance to understand itself.

    What more do you need? 

    So here’s what can you do:

    Go talk to someone, stranger, friend, whoever. Look at them. Actually look. Then ask yourself and them: if this really is the only place where stardust became conscious, what kind of humans should we be?

    We are literally the cosmos becoming conscious.
    Act like it matters.

    CMOTHR – we’re all just trying to figure it out as we go

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    You don’t need to agree, or even like it. Just read.

    Maybe something sticks.